9. Donkey rides

The first donkeys carried the hulls along the British coast. Then, as tourism prospered, they carried them too. Conditions weren’t great, although the Blackpool Donkey Charter of 1942 brought improvements (permit required, plump riders banned). Today, several resorts still offer rides, but check animal welfare standards first.

Best of Britain: Seacliff, East Lothian

If you have any worries, go for another beast. At spectacular Seacliff Beach, you can ride trustworthy horses; rides cross the red-yellow sand, with views of two ruined castles and Bass Rock flocked with gannets (one-hour rides £45 / £35 adult/child; seacliffstables.co.uk). Disembark and head to nearby North Berwick, where the Lobster Shack prepares the freshest local catch (fish and chips £11.40; lobstershack.co.uk).

10. Model villages

The oldest in the world – Bekonscot – may be in Buckinghamshire, but the model villages seem right at home by the sea, fitting right into the pantheon of coastal eccentricities that also includes shell caves, stone works wax and large plastic objects. Plus, Gullivering around small towns of mini weddings, hospitals, and Taj Mahals is truly satisfying.

Best of Britain: Babbacombe, Devon

The model village of Babbacombe (pre-booked from £14.50/£11.50 adult/child; model-village.co.uk), with its shrunken Stonehenge, Tudor houses, Travel Lodge and population of 13,178 small locals, has been delighting holidaymakers since 1963. From the village, walk to the top station of the vintage Cliff Railway, which has provided easy access to the shingle beach at Oddicombe for almost a century (from £2.20; babbacombecliffrailway.co.uk). For accommodation ideas, see our comprehensive guide to the best hotels in Devon.

11. Conservatories

Those crafty Victorians. With Britain having no time to guarantee seaside fun outdoors, it has also taken care of indoor fun: ballrooms, pleasure domes and conservatories, where tourists could be entertained in all seasons. Many have not survived, but some beauties – pretty much – remain.

Best of Britain: Morecambe, Lancashire

The Winter Gardens (visits £10; morecambewintergardens.co.uk) have ruled Morecambe Ball since 1897; everyone from Elgar to the Who has played here. The Grade II listed building is now managed by a preservation trust, seeking to restore the concert hall to its former glory. Behind-the-scenes tours reveal its mosaic floors and steep upper circle. For accommodation ideas, see our comprehensive guide to the best hotels in Lancashire.