Liz Truss Must Do These 10 Things If She Wants To Be A Great Prime Minister
“IN Liz we Truss!” then, as Tory MPs like to say right now in hopes of being appointed Under Secretary of State for Sauce, or something like that.
Even those who hated her two weeks ago suddenly found reservoirs of adoration.
OK, Ms. Truss wasn’t my first choice for PM – it would be Kemi Badenoch. And conservatives aren’t really my first choice either. It would be the SDP.
But Truss has campaigned well and there is no doubting his tenacity and ambition.
So we should probably give her some slack for a while and hope she performs miracles – because miracles are needed right now.
She must unite her own party. She must persuade traditional Conservative voters to vote Conservative again.
And she must get closer to the Northern Red Wall voters if she wants to win a majority in 2024.
And that’s on top of an energy crisis, inflation and war in Ukraine.
So what should she do? Here is my action plan for Liz.
1. I don’t like the energy price freeze. It is a temporary measure that the poorest among us will pay for in the end.
You want a winning policy, nationalize the oil and gas companies. Even if it is only a brief nationalization, as happened with the LNER rail franchise.
The public wants energy companies in public hands, especially Red Wall voters. Outflank Labor on the left.
Build a bunch of small scale modular nuclear power plants to end our dependence on foreign energy and fossil fuels.
2. Waging war upon awakening. People hate that. Even Labor and Liberal Democrat voters. You have a wonderfully diverse cabinet – which pretty much proves that we don’t have structural racism in this country.
Abandon diversity goals and diversity programs. Expel Stonewall from all institutions. Stop children being fed LGBTQI propaganda in schools. Know what a woman is.
You will collect the votes and serve the country.
3. Bring a very large scalpel to the NHS. Ask your friend Therese Coffey to create a free-for-all NHS for serious illnesses and medical emergencies.
And create tax breaks for private health insurance so that the wealthy are no longer a burden on the system.
4. Increase UK support to Ukraine and the Baltic States. More weapons to President Zelensky, more men stationed in Lithuania, Latvia and Estonia. Be Zelensky’s favorite human being.
5. Be tough on public sector wage demands. We cannot give in to calls for double-digit percentage increases that will fuel already soaring inflation. We must do everything we can to bring inflation down.
6. Roll out a house construction and insulation program. Make it easier for private landlords to rent property, not harder.
7. Invest in businesses and infrastructure in the north of the country. Transfer more ministries to the regions.
8. Introduce an animal welfare bill that clearly states that animals have rights. Move towards a completely free-range environment for all our farm animals and ban imports from countries with poor animal welfare standards. Prohibit hunting on trails.
9. Protect the traditional nuclear family – the proven best way to raise children. Use taxes and benefits to reward those who marry and stay married.
10. Sign a huge trade deal with India. Let the British people know that Brexit was not a mistake by enjoying the benefits of being outside the European Union.
All this by Monday afternoon, please, Liz. If you want more advice or suggestions, call gizza.
The net zero business will spend a while in the background. That’s probably true, given the cost of our energy bills.
But we must not forget climate change – and the Prime Minister must lead by example.
So was it ABSOLUTELY necessary for Liz Truss and Boris Johnson to fly in separate private planes to see the Queen at Balmoral?
What’s wrong with a bloody Zoom call?
Think of the money – and carbon – saved.
Strange CANADIAN Naia Okami identifies as a wolf. She says she knows she’s kinda human but she really feels like a wolf.
She even tweets stuff like “awooooo” to show she’s a wolf.
Naia said, “Some people obviously raise their eyebrows, but it’s not really different. If you really think about it, what does it change in your interaction with me? »
Well, Naia. This changes our “interaction” with you, as most people won’t bother to interact with someone who is on a one-way trip to the hatch.
A VEGAN cafe in Taunton, Somerset, has found an interesting trick to attract more customers. He started selling meat dishes.
The owners of Mango Tree explained that if they didn’t, they would go bankrupt. Yes, indeed – there’s never been a better case of “wake up, go broke”.
Serving only vegan food means you’re ignoring 97% of the population. Yes, despite so much information about vegan diets, these deluded people still only represent 3% of the population.
I think the cafe needs a name change, though.
How about “The Mango Tree and the Recently Slaughtered Cow”?
WE have a new environmental secretary. Finally, we got rid of “not much” George Eustice.
George made sure he was a friend of big farmers and had no time for wildlife.
He maintained the ridiculous cull of the badger when all the evidence suggested he was not remotely stopping the spread of disease to livestock.
The new guy’s name is Ranil Jayawardena. I’m going to send him a stuffed badger.
So when he stops the badger cull – hopefully 9:00 tomorrow morning – he can remember the gratitude of these adorable animals.
PRITI PATEL has resigned as Home Secretary. As soon as she did, Foreign Office officials liked a tweet saying “good riddance”.
It’s the non-partisan public service you need.
Few politicians have been as reviled as Patel. Perhaps it is the fact that she is small, feminine and Asian that annoys the public schoolchildren of the civil service.
Anyway, I hope she returns to the front bench very soon. She is a fearsome politician.
And it annoys Labour.
Hurry up, Priti – we miss you.
BEEB’S BOOB ON SUE
SO now we know. The BBC fired the charming Sue Barker because she wanted to “take the program in a different direction”.
And for once, they kept their word. The direction is down, at something approaching the speed of light.
When Sue was host, with Phil Tufnell and Matt Dawson as captains, A Question Of Sport drew nearly five million viewers.
With Paddy McGuinness as host and Sam Quek and Ugo Monye as captains, it draws 850,000 viewers.
If the BBC were in the commercial business, whoever was responsible for firing Sue Barker would now be queuing outside the local jobs centre.
At the BBC, they probably got a pay rise.
SHOWS’ LARD TIMES
CINEMAs began to include “fat accessibility information” in their advertisements.
It’s for the lardbuckets buying tickets to, say, Oliver! (food, glorious food, etc.) won’t be disappointed when they find that the seats are all a bit human-sized, rather than elephantine.
The big ones are radicalized.
Comedian Sofie Hagen – who I don’t think is a regular at the Marks & Spencer salad bar – won’t play in venues that don’t make room for people like her.
Huge seats each equipped with a chicken nugget dispenser and an intravenous cola drip are the future.