Bizarre war on migrants and the Great British F *** Off – POLITICO
Welcome to Declassified, a weekly column on the lighter side of politics.
Priorities are so important. For example, if, say, you had a crisis at your border, with a deadly stalemate in which thousands of migrants were stranded, camped in freezing temperatures and often without access to food, you would probably think, “Quick, let’s take it. a commemorative coin struck!
This is what happened in Poland, where the National Bank announcement this would speed up the issuance of a special collector’s item “dedicated to the defense of the eastern Polish border” (it will be the one that includes Belarus). Wondering if you can spend the coins on blankets, soup and visas?
On the topic of migration-stories-that-turned-a-bizarre, congratulations if you had “the sports store becomes the first line of the migration line” on your new bingo card! Yes, branches of retailer Decathlon in northern France have stopped selling canoes to prevent migrants from using them to cross to the UK
Buying a canoe “will no longer be possible” in Decathlon stores in Calais and Grande-Synthe, near Dunkirk, “given the current context,” the retailer told AFP. A quick glance at The Decathlon France website reveals that there are currently product recalls on harnesses, swim shorts, and multivitamins, so maybe the company isn’t just stopping at canoes and getting rid of any items that might come in handy on the trip potentially fatal to Britain.
Migrants in canoes are not the only ones prevented from crossing the Channel. According to media reports, pies made in the UK will be banned from exporting to the EU if their ingredients do not come from an ‘approved’ farm or factory. According to The Independent, a former Conservative trade minister has raised concerns about exports of “chicken, ham and mushroom pies.”
Is there such an export market? Do the Marseillais, let’s say, revolt by shouting: “This dinner of feet bundles and bouillabaisse is fine, but what we really wanted was a British Chicken, Ham and Mushroom Pie!
You thought COVID was bad, so wait for the Great Pastry War of 2022!
“Wave to people and act normally and no one will be hurt. “
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“And when I use very small private planes to travel, it’s in order to save the planet. Do you understand? ”By Albrecht Rothacher.
Paul Dallison is POLITICS‘s slot machine news editor